Just There..,

sometimes i think real hard, if happy is what you are then you don’t need me.. no you don’t need me, but why are you always right there behind every door i approach, do i have to change the path that i chose? i fear that i’ll find you right there before me. all i think of is a place that i won’t be reminded of you. you’re not physically in front of me, or next to me.. but why do i see you everywhere, its as painful as you’re really there, please stop coming back.. with you there or without you its hurts, its hurts and the pain is unbearable, all i ask for is you to find your place and for me to find mine.

can i continue my life knowing you’re not coming back..? i can manage.,

it can be hard since i loved you, i didn’t only love i was also loved by you.. but i was oblivious, i didn’t know.. i won’t use the obvious excuse its not insecurity, i just couldn’t believe that we were gonna go further, although i confused it as friendship, you didn’t change you kept your promise.. until we reached the ending.. i always believed that there was no happy endings, but that was not a happy ending neither a sad one.. it somehow faded, it wasn’t sudden it just slowly faded among time.. when we reached the end of the tunnel i expected to feel something, sad or even angry .. but all of it was blunt it. i felt nothing at all and at that time i knew that I’m cold hearted, i didn’t even flench it was a smooth ending. 

but whats with me now? why do i think of you? you’re not important are you? we were just friends weren’t we? 

why do i feel like you meant more than that to me? it wasn’t love, but why am i like this its been over a year.. how can a person feel pain for over a year and yet not killed?

your feelings must have changed now, you’re living happily and enjoying your life amongst others, and I’m here not able to do anything, frightened.. thats what I’m now without you I’m frightened i feel empty.. but I’ve always felt empty, but this hurts.. it hurts real bad… what have i ever done to you? I’m supposed to think about my future and education. but you’re just there.. thats what you are right now you’re just there killing me slowly without even knowing it.