To be honest I did have a first love… it was an accident, we were just talking and we kept talking for 2 years.. and I got those weird feelings where I wouldn’t like that person to be with other people.
I got jealous easily and for some reason that person did too, without even noticing we started our relationship.. and my fluttered only towards that person… yet still does.
But honestly that relationship was just a mess, we didn’t get each other.. i loved that person with all my heart but I’ve grown tired of that person.
If you read my posts you’ll know why.. I’m a narcissistic, I’m self obsessed which means I always thought that I’m better without that person. There wasn’t a relationship after those 4 years. Oh well I’m better off without shitty people in my life right?
But now I don’t think I can love again, you know what I mean? It’s like I’ve tried it once and I failed why should I try again right?
To me it isn’t that way, my heart can’t love anymore.. it was that person and well it wasn’t worth it either.. i got hurt once so it like I don’t want to try it again, it’s not that I was hurt … it just felt pathetic to abuse my pride for someone else.
Abahahahahah aren’t I the pathetic one?